Tonight, I'm sitting with my mother discussing life. I'm visiting home and I can't help but think that I am so far away from everything she knows. She tries to talk about birth, babies and "trying to nurse" so that we have something in common. She's reaching and I'm cringing.
How many stories can I hear about this mom or that mom who is "totally breastfeeding their kid" but gives them a bottle during the day because the baby has latch issues and really has problems intestinally. The baby is nursed at night, when it's convenient, but I guess at three months old, after being forced into the world a month early, it's too much to ask for the mom to just nurse him and not bottle feed him so that he will get over the latch issues. But get this...he's getting formula for 8-10 hours a day but NURSING is giving him GERD and gas issues. Yes, and the mom should wean on a bad hair day, too, I'm sure.
Then there is the story of the other mom who is going to be having her first birth ON her due date. She's really smart, has done a lot of internet research, she's really on the ball. Then two seconds later, she's too stupid to realize that a due date is an imaginary number based on a semi-coherent guess.
I could go on, discussing how another family member's son HAD to have XYZ or how another one HAS to have a csection (with the implication being that being too fat was a medical indication or that she DESERVED this somehow.)
Ok. So this was really a vent. But what makes people think that because I love helping concerned moms bring their babies into this world in love, cherishing the journey and jumping the pitfalls of medical standards of practice....
....that somehow I would want to share, relish or talk about stories of mothers being duped, or not putting that kind of cherishing into their little infant's lives?
It's no wonder that she was knocked out for three of her births. Disconnect appears to be a motherhood bloodsport in this particular arena. How about being encouraging to moms or even to your daughters?
May every mother one day tell her little girl the story of how she was informed and powerful and had options during her birth and she used her brain as well as her vagina to give birth...after all, no matter which power you believe created us, they did give us the ability to learn and rationalize even when our neighbor, our doctor, or even our mother is telling us how impossible it is.