Today, something occurred again that makes me wonder why there is so much pain and anger directed at women who don't choose to have a repeat cesarean, no matter how many cesareans they had, be it one or be it five.
I wonder if it's the anguish over the choice. Not knowing if you made the right call. Knowing you will never know if you made the right call. The lack of control over the issue in realizing that you made a sacrifice and worried and wondered about the outcome while someone else "had" a vaginal birth. Or worse, had a loss that they can then be blamed for. It's that woman's fault, after all, that her uterus ruptured or that her baby died. Obviously, if she had made the other choice, then that NEVER would have happened.
But the truth is still the same. Life is not safe. Birth is as safe as life gets. And life...is 100% fatal.
And that VBA4C mom doesn't care less for her baby, no matter what you might think. She cares differently and is in a different process from you. I sincerely doubt that most women who sign up for elective repeat fifth cesareans are told of the risks of their baby dying from stillbirth or the first few weeks of life from respiratory issues. They aren't warned of the placental abnormalities that kill more and more women and babies as the cesarean rate rises. They don't worry about those things because they feel that by scheduling, they are circumventing those risks. They are doing "safest." and "the best they can."
But the truth is still the same. Elective repeat cesareans are more risky than vaginal births. So..if you feel that you care more because you would pick "your baby" over "your VBAC" then perhaps you should ask yourself ...what if they are one in the same and you have control...over neither?